Love is everywhere💓, cliché as it sounds; it is true. You can’t avoid it, whether it’s a farewell kiss from your parents, a good luck message from your friend or a snuggle with your dog after a long day at work. Love is all around us, and it appears in so many different forms.

I’ve seen many people obsess over it, cry over it, spend their life’s savings for it, be consumed in it...but why? What is so special about love?

It has been scientifically proven that love is the most powerful emotion in the world, the highest frequency Imaginable that blocks any other form of emotion such as hate, envy or sadness. The power of love can be so intoxicating, providing feelings of euphoria, excitement, butterflies in your stomach and an overwhelming feeling of acceptance and safety.

We have seen a rise in the last 20 years of people using dating apps allowing people to connect romantically to prospects from across the world making the dating pool wider and more exciting. So many options or too many options?

Most people dream of finding their perfect partner, someone to spend time with and live out their dreams. To possibly build a foundation, create a family and be their rock when life gets difficult.

A person to accept and love them for who they truly are, a foundation built on loyalty and trust.

So why are more people divorcing and less people marrying? If you’ve heard this term, it isn’t completely true. Forbes conducted research that shows as of 2024 there are 1.6 divorces per 1000 people.

Don’t let the thought of divorce scare you away from commitment with just 47% of first marriages ending up in a divorce. However, for second marriages, it has been recorded that 67% of them are dissolved, and third time marriages have a higher divorce rate of 73%. Maybe this is due to repeating patterns in relationships and not learning from the lessons of the first marriage?

I am yet to marry, and I have my own mixed opinion about it. Do I want a life partner that I can build and enjoy life with, absolutely. Do I feel I need to rush to find this? Absolutely not.

I have met many people that have debated with me on the subject of ‘hurry up and settle down before you get too old’. In my opinion, that is an old fashioned, toxic conditioning to pressure the younger generation to find a partner quickly whether they are emotionally, financially or mentally ready to settle down.

I don’t believe something so pure as the unconditional emotion of love can be rushed.

I believe it takes time to truly understand yourself, love yourself and understand your wants and needs before you can even consider a true match.

How could you possibly love someone truly if you cannot even love yourself?

Isit love or is it Infatuation? Is it love or is it loneliness?
I often wonder if the fear of being alone has caused so many codependent relationships masked as soul mates. If I must change who I am for a person to love me, is that truly love?

Or maybe I’m a deep thinker and most people don’t see the world as I do, but I can’t help but wonder. If love is the most powerful emotion on the planet, shouldn’t we be more careful with who we give our hearts to?

I don’t believe love has to be perfect, but I do believe that we have to be honest about what we truly want. Am I living for my family, my community, my friends or am I living for me?

Cultural differences does still make a big Impact on relationships, several cultures around the world still find arranged marriages to be beneficial. I agree that an arranged marriage would be easier but is it love?

I do believe that love doesnt always match on paper and some of the most beautiful love stories are those matches that are complete opposites in terms of race, culture, religion and backgrounds. A partner that can grow with you and accept where you currently are in life is important.

My mum loves the TV program ‘Married at First Sight’, it is very entertaining but is it the easy way out?

In my opinion, to marry a man based off looks alone is simple.

There are many handsome, tall, well-built men over the age of 30 that are single wanting to settle down. Trust me ladies, the dating pool is not dead, there are many single men looking for love. To say there are no good men left isn’t true, and if you’re feeling this way, I would say that it is time to go on a self-love healing journey to understand why you feel this way.

I have made a list of attributes I personally believe you should consider on your search for love.

💖 His values, are you aligned?

💞 His morals, does he Inspire you? Are you spiritually compatible?

💖 How does he treat people? Is he kind yet assertive?

💞 His dating history, has he healed from past relationships?

💖 His views on finances and family life, how stable is he? Can you grow with him?

💞 Does he have hobbies? Is he Independant? Does he have a life outside of your relationship?

💖 His Intelligence, Is he open minded and willing to learn?

💞 How he nurtures a woman, Is he romantic? Does he make you feel desired?

💖 Is he consistent? Is he reliable? Do you trust him?

💞 Is he confident in who he is and what he stands for?

💖 How does he take care of himself and those around him?

💞 Does he have boundaries with friends/family? Will he protect you?

💖 Does he value your needs and creates a safe place for you to be in your femininity?

💞 How well does he communicate with you? Can you have open conversations and express your feelings without judgement?

💖 Do you feel safe with him?

💞 Are you attracted to him? Do you like who he is as a person?

Do you love him for who he is? Not what he 'could' be?

Some may think the above list is overwhelming but choosing your life partner is one of the most important decisions of your life, I believe it shouldn’t be taken lightly. I also believe it helps to create a solid foundation that is lasting.

If you haven’t already it’s time to make a list of your Ideal partner.

Everyone has different needs/wants but I personally believe settling for someone you aren’t truly happy with, only increases the chances of regrets, missed opportunities and disconnection in the future.

Once you have made your list, then consider if you match these ideals.

For example, if you want a man with hobbies, you must also consider if YOU have any hobbies. Does he have boundaries with his family/friends? Now you must consider it YOU have boundaries with your family/friends?

Be what you want to attract.

I'm still figuring out this love thing but one thing I have noticed is, you're what you attract. If you want better, first you must be better.

You’re not hard to love and everyone deserves their fairytale, but the fairytale starts with you first. Loving you in all parts.

With love

Aish x